Eggcorns did not pass mustard for all intensive purposes

SANDY EGGO—On Thursday, a plate of delicious eggcorns on my violet silverware failed to pass mustard with Chef Ramsay, who called my dish a “jar-dropping failure for all intensive purposes.”

“The steaks are high now,” I thought. I was a hare’s breath away from culinary success, but Ramsay, whose ire was not curved, threw a hammer and thongs at me.

I had to start over from scrap, and ended up having to remake the entire dish with skimp milk and a damp squid.

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