WASHINGTON—A girl found out the hard way not to show images of political ice cream images to her boyfriend while cuddling.
During a cuddling session with her boyfriend Matt on Friday, Dakota Madison, 21, slipped out of Matt’s arms to check her Facebook, on which she found photos of Joe Biden, Donald Trump, and various others eating ice cream. In a lapse in judgment, Ms. Madison showed Matt the Biden photo.
Upon seeing the photo, Matt, the epitome of red-blooded prowess, softened like a lump of ice cream in the former Vice President’s mouth. No sooner had he had time to take in what he just saw than his girlfriend nonchalantly showed him a photo of Donald Trump consuming a similar comestible.
“I was taking pleasure in my girlfriend’s hair, you know, smelling it and everything, and then she shows me these pictures of these aging men doing whatever the hell it is they’re doing,” Matt complained. “Those photos and the smell of her hair—they just don’t go well together, know what I mean?”
“I have learned the error of my ways,” said Ms. Madison. “I swear I won’t do such a thing to my Matty ever again.”
The couple has resumed cuddling this morning. While Matt seems to have recovered from the immediate effects of the images, it remains to be seen whether he sustained any long-term injuries.