Lonely housewife seeks rich, handsome, confident, manly psychopath who can take good care of her

bundy naked

Ted is a dashing, young attorney at the white shoe firm Bundy LLP. Source: bundyphile.wordpress.com

After her low-life husband left her for another woman, local housewife Kirsten Dunce took proactive measures to find a man who is rich, confident, and just psychopathic enough to take good care of her.

Approximately 1 percent of the general population is blessed with psychopathy, officially called Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5). Virtually all of these lucky people are male. Symptoms of psychopathy include killer charm, roguish good looks, and intractable, red-blooded strength.

It is thus no surprise that, contrary to popular belief, many psychopaths have long turned away from such base pleasures as serial killing and raping to such loftier pursuits as practicing law, ruling Syria, and being the President of the United States.

“I need a handsome, charming fella who can take good care of me,” Mrs. Dunce said thoughtfully. “He also has to be rich and confident, and maybe fall somewhere near the middle of the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum so that he has the balls to grab women by the pussy.”

Mrs. Dunce is currently choosing between two men: Ted, a dashing, young attorney at the white shoe firm Bundy LLP, and Jeffrey, a brilliant businessman and founder of the fast food chain Dahmer Legs and Wings.

While her standards of romance are high, Mrs. Dunce said she will “keep an open mind.”

Categories: Lifestyle

Tags: , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. So who did she choose? Is there a follow up story? I want to read all the details!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: