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Elvis Parsley found in Unidentified Frying Objects

Elvis Parsley was found in a plate of Unidentified Frying Objects.

MEMPHIS—40 years after its disappearance, Elvis Parsley was found in a plate of Unidentified Frying Objects served at the B.B. King Blues Club and Grill on Beale Street.

Elvis Parsley, known by culinary enthusiasts as the King of Bock n’ Bowl, is a rare and highly sought-after species of parsley that pairs well, as its nickname suggests, with a German beer and a bowl of victuals. Those who have managed to obtain the elusive parsley consume it for its nutritional value and aphrodisiac properties.

A customer at B.B. King Blues Club and Grill found the parsley in a plate of Unidentified Frying Objects. “The waiter apparently had no idea what they just served,” said scientist Tom Bruise. “I said, ‘Look at that Unidentified Frying Object!’ Then I saw what it was and said, ‘Holy shit! It’s Elvis Parsley!'”

Mr. Bruise’s comment was overheard by nearby customers, and shortly thereafter the entire club was alerted to the parsley’s presence.

The band then played a song in honor of the parsley:

Love me blender, love me beer
Tell me you are mine
I’ll be yours through all the years
Til’ the end of thyme

The parsley has been kept safe in a maximum security refrigerator, General Electric’s Jailhouse Bock, which the company claims can “take care of business” for decades.

shiner bock and soup

The soup and beer depicted are missing Elvis Parsley, the “King of Bock n’ Bowl.”

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