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IKEA offers high-quality, unassembled pork chops

SINGAPORE—Hungry IKEA customers can now order a plate of unassembled pork chops made of Scandinavian pine and eco-friendly rubber at any of the furniture brand’s restaurants.

“People used to say everything here’s cardboard,” said IKEA CEO Peter Agnefjäll. “But we’ve proved them wrong. Here at IKEA, we are proud to present to you our new line of Nordic-inspired pork dishes, made from only the highest-quality ingredients of pine and natural rubber found in the alpine tundra of north-western Sweden.”

Agnefjäll assured customers that the new line of pork chops comes with lifetime guarantee against defects in materials and workmanship. The pork chops come with user-friendly instruction manuals. There are no refunds.

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