Breaking News

Fifth grade girls plan to visit Edward Snowden

MOSCOW—CIA agents R, like, so focused on Eddy Snowy’s bubble-licious handwriting 4 like no reason, lolz. Wut duz the CIA want? I luv Eddy he is like, so cute and smart. Last nite me and my BFF had the bestest sleepover  everzzz. She was like, Eddy is soooo cute I want to go visit him in russia!!!! And i said yes Michelle lets go visit Eddy in russia but you hav to make sure we, like, whack all of russia’s bodyguards. Oh Michelle do u think russian bodyguards R like all cute and musclely? cuz last time when Suzie like redrummed those mossad agents she was like *OMG* those Israelis r like SOOOOOO strong with their 6pks *OMG* i know right?!?!?!?!?! So anywayz here’s our inventory *beyotches* ~~~ M16A4 assault rifle, Glockz pistolz of any size, minigun ~~~ multibarrelled 7.62 mm electrically operated gatling gun mounted on boats helicopters and vehicles ~~~ *OMG*!! WE R GOING TO B FAMOUS BEYOTCHES WE R ROCKSTAR TERRORISTS! HERE WE CUM RUSSIA!!!!! WOOT WOOT PEACE OUT!!!

ps do u think justin bieber knows how to use AK47 or M79 grenade launcher? I don’t think so…I know right lolz? He’s so lame…

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