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Bears don’t understand why people say ‘awww’


NATURE—A bear and her cub fail to comprehend why people seem to say “awww” to them all the time.

“Yesterday, I was walking around on my paws just lookin’ for salmon, you know,” said Momma Bear. “Then I came face to face with some fat dude carrying a massive Smith and Wesson revolver. He sort of dropped his gun and said ‘awwww’. So I mauled him.”

Momma Bear said she then confronted the assailant’s buddy, who said, simply, “Awww, dude. Not cool.” She mauled him too, and then summarily ate his face.

When asked what he thought about the awesome issue, Momma Bear’s son, Teddy, declined to comment.

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