Breaking News

Cunning linguist enters banged-up Volvo

EUGENE, OR—Saying that he felt too cold to be out in the snow, a cunning linguist gained entrance into a woman’s Volvo.

“I was just so tired from drawing Venn Diaphragms of eggcorns all day that I decided I had to take a break in someone’s old banger, so I saw her and thought, sure, a 40-year-old Volvo would do,” said Professor Richard Anderson.

Fanny Johnson, 40, initially denied the linguist entrance into her vehicle. “I didn’t even know him. Why would I let him in? Then he said something about an important linguistics study he had to do for the university, and I consented.”

The professor explains, “I was interviewing the woman as part of a study on the artificial dissemination of bad puns, and I’ve reached the conclusion that sometimes making good puns is just way too hard and people just don’t get it. I went at it hammer and tongs though, so I guess that’s enough.”

About Bald Beagle (99 Articles)
As you no doubt already know, our investigative journalism is second to none. We have exposed political scandals, fought corruption, and set the standard in modern journalism. We are even better than Breitbart News. If you didn't know that, we welcome you to check out our homepage and read any of the Potentially Pulitzer Prize Winning articles written by our indefatigable team of thick-skinned muckrakers. For more information, please visit www.baldbeagle.org/about

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: