Studies show looking like a crazy person improves jazz performance

Tokyo–A new study done at Tokyo University has confirmed what many jazz musicians have suspected for years: looking like a crazy person improves jazz performance.

The new paper, entitled, “Appearing Insane to Optimize Scooby Dooby Doo Daa, Doo Wop: Bebop and Beyond,” published in the prestigious Tokyo Journal of Jazz Studies, described a double-blind, double-time, double-swingin’-like-a-jive-ass-mothafockin’-doo-wop-ba-bee-da-doo-daaaaa study that proves that growing one’s hair long, dressing oneself up in funny clothes, smoking a doobie, and imbibing massive amounts of alcohol improve one’s ability to scooby-dooby-doo-da-doo-wop-doo-wop-doo-wop-doo-wop-fuck-yeah on the count of 1, and 2, and 1, 2, 3, 4, and additionally improve one’s ability to play polyrhythms and polychords and poly-po-pa-pa-doo-wop-ba-be-da-doo-daaaaaaaaa.

However, Japanese scientists say that further studies will have to be done on the matter, for they have not figured out how some accomplished musicians can swing and play well while looking totally stoic and sane.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s