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Stop the bullshit, please!
Ten years ago, I read Harry Frankfurt’s famous essay “On Bullshit” in an introductory logic course taught by a wonderful professor whom I shall not name for fear of kissing ass. Because of that course, I began studying the topic of bullshit. I wrote an honors thesis on bullshit, and though I ended up writing the second half of the thesis drunk, I still kicked ass and graduated.
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Thousands of assholes enjoy picnic while holding their noses amid pandemic
TAICHUNG–While millions of less fortunate Americans are cooped up in their homes, thousands of Taiwanese assholes are currently having the time of their life, drinking Corona in a popular park in downtown Taichung, Taiwan. Yet despite flouting half the Coronavirus… Read More ›
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Asian motorcycle gang arrested for speeding and other less serious crimes
TAICHUNG–Four members of the infamous Taiwanese motorcycle gang Hell’s Angles have been arrested on charges of speeding and other less serious misdemeanors such as drug trafficking, prostitution, and extortion. The Angles, also known as the 90-Degree Hot Rods, started out… Read More ›
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Nemo sent to detention for calling schoolmate a “punk-ass fish”
THE OCEAN–Saying that he has had enough of “this bullshark,” class clownfish Nemo was sent to detention for swearing at his schoolmates, calling a longtime friend a “punk-ass fish” and telling cephalopods who camouflage themselves to “stop squirting ink and… Read More ›
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Studies show looking like a crazy person improves jazz performance
Tokyo–A new study done at Tokyo University has confirmed what many jazz musicians have suspected for years: looking like a crazy person improves jazz performance. The new paper, entitled, “Appearing Insane to Optimize Scooby Dooby Doo Daa, Doo Wop: Bebop… Read More ›
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Tennessee passes law banning abortion for both muggles and wizards
Nashville–Alarmed by wizards’ ability to abort fetuses with the wave of a wand, pro-life lawmakers in Tennessee passed a law that bans abortion for muggles and wizards. “We know that if you ban muggle abortion, muggles will get abortions anyway… Read More ›
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Aspiring writer says internet tips on overcoming writer’s block totally inspired him for five fucking minutes
CYBERSPACE–Saying that he has not written anything good in months, aspiring writer Jack Torrance, 41, overcame writer’s block for five fucking minutes after reading internet tips on overcoming writer’s block. “It’s terrific, these YouTube people and shit,” remarked Torrance. “They… Read More ›
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12 steps to a perfect fried chicken revealed
Ingredients 4 cups all-purpose flour, divided 2 tablespoons garlic salt 1 tablespoon paprika 3 teaspoons pepper, divided 2-1/2 teaspoons poultry seasoning 2 large eggs 1-1/2 cups water 1 teaspoon salt 2 broiler/fryer chickens (3-1/2 to 4 pounds each), cut up… Read More ›
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Crappy WordPress user decides to write in shitty blog again
CYBERSPACE–After his credit card company mistook a WordPress premium subscription for an “unauthorized transaction,” impoverished WordPress user Ronald Dump decides to write again. “They took away my domain and now I’m left with a shitty blog URL,” lamented Dump. “I… Read More ›
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Patriotic or Lazy? OSU Custodian Fired for Refusing to Peel
By Suom Fuikingdood “That’s it. I’ve peeled off over two million pieces of tape. I refuse to peel off one more f****ng piece!” Last words of Chad Nelson, a custodian who was recently fired from OSU for refusing to peel… Read More ›
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