Category Archives: Culture

Thai local likes tourist’s authentic elephant pants and love for Asian culture

Bangkok—After selling green curry and driving a tuk tuk for fifteen years, Thai local Terdsak Pichaironnarongsongkram professed his admiration for tourist Katie Swanson’s authentically Thai elephant pants. “It really breaks up the monotony to see a reasonably attractive Caucasian woman for the first time in ten years, wearing elephant pants, and politely greeting me with a ‘sawadika’ before boarding my tuk

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A sophomoric introduction to bullshit

In college, my adviser introduced me to elementary logic and opened my eyes to the beauty of academic philosophy, at once dispelling popular misconceptions of philosophy as mere intellectual masturbation and adumbrating the hows and whys of the bullshitty things that give philosophy a bad name. It’s been many years since I wrote my last paper on bullshit, and my

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Uninvited guests trade heroin for hamburgers in What Country, CA, carry submachine guns

WHAT COUNTRY, CA—Park Rangers were alerted to two men who traded heroin for hamburgers at a picnic in What Country, California on Saturday afternoon. The Rangers notified What Country Police, who promptly detained a hamburger vendor for questioning. Witnesses reported that the drug dealers at one point brandished submachine guns to threaten hamburger eaters. When witnesses screamed, the two men panicked and drove

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‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it’: This is not fake news

“It is the nature of satire that not everyone gets it.” ― United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, in Farah v. Esquire Magazine (2013) “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” ― Evelyn Beatrice Hall This post is not satirical. Regrettably, the type of healthy debate that

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Belligerent Krav Maga master refuses to stop grabbing groins

JERUSALEM—In spite of his students’ complaints, Krav Maga master Eli Gould refused to stop grabbing his students’ groins. Gould, 35, is also a Mossad agent who allegedly killed Hamas operative Mazen Fuqaha in March 2017. In 1976, the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) began a rigorous program that advocated groin-grabbing as an effective offensive strategy, proclaiming it to be indispensable to

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Zen Buddhists eat traditional Japanese donuts during meditation

EIHEIJI, JAPAN—Zen Buddhist Dōgen Zenji, 38, revealed an esoteric trick to successful meditation known as dōnatsu no michi, the practice of masticating a piece of donut until one becomes united with the cosmos. The history of the donut is disputed. Some historians claim that it was invented by Dutch settlers in North America, while other scholars contend that it was first

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Fourth graders stun scholars with incisive Rothko analyses

COLUMBUS, OH—A group of home-schooled fourth graders have established a new interdisciplinary peer-reviewed journal entitled Midwest Journal of the Metaphysics of Art, stunning  professors and graduate students from disciplines ranging from the arts to biomedical engineering. “The problem with postmodern art is that much of it, while visually pleasing, is based on little to no understanding of basic propositional logic, let alone the

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