KANSAS CITY—”Look,” said 10-year-old Marina as she squirted ketchup on the floor. “Jackson Pollock.” But Marina is no Jackson Pollock. In fact, she is better than Pollock. Whereas Pollock’s 1948 masterpiece, “No. 5”, reportedly was sold for 165.4 million dollars in… Read More ›
Moved to tears by a movie about a faithful dog, a family finally played with their beagle after ignoring him for months. Disillusioned, the beagle escaped from his owners, who five months later bought another purebred in an attempt to… Read More ›
32 million adults in the United States are illiterate, and this statistic has not changed in ten years, according to the U.S. Department of Education. In an attempt to bolster American adult literacy, the federal government is urging educators to promote adult reading… Read More ›
EVANSTON, IL—Overly enthusiastic students at a university in Evanston repeatedly violated their new classmate’s personal space on Monday. Jesse, 25, smiled wryly as students lined up left and right, eager to touch him. “I don’t know why the fuck they… Read More ›
MILTON, MA—Railroad tycoon Cornelius Tunt visited the Milton Academy this Thursday to urge young students to finish their cigars. Tunt explained to all 305 students in the lower school (Kindergarten through Grade 8) that there are more than 200 million… Read More ›
DETROIT—Ten “Duchamp urinals” have been installed in Detroit Pubic School as part of the city’s ongoing effort to increase appreciation for the arts. The toilets are inspired by a controversial piece named Fountain. Fountain is a porcelain urinal that gained… Read More ›
BOWLING GREEN, KY—Lawrence Abraham, a straight-A student and war hero at the Bowling Green State University in Kentucky (BGSU), was labelled “useless” and “pathetic” upon transferring to Stanford. The subject of numerous documentaries, Abraham, 20, learned to read Latin at… Read More ›
HOUSTON—A Cantonese girl was forced by her photographer to play an unplayable melody on Tuesday morning. Song Sou Sik, 10, was minding her own business in class when a Caucasian man barged in with a cheap violin. “He just came… Read More ›
“It is the nature of satire that not everyone gets it.” ― United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, in Farah v. Esquire Magazine (2013) “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death… Read More ›
TAICHUNG, TAIWAN—On Sunday, two male soccer coaches at the Morrison Academy gave birth to a stellar soccer team consisting of 19 male teenagers. No sooner had coaches Abraham Sbardolini, 36, and Sera Sera, 48—both of whom were frustrated by what… Read More ›
The Bald Beagle 