New movie poignantly captures woes of hapless bald man
Antoine Fuqua, the director of Training Day, has made The Equalizer, an emotional drama based on the life of a depressed bald man. “It’s time for the public to [...]
Entertainment
A summary of Coco’s gratuitously violent plot (spoilers ahead)
Set in the sleepy Mexican village of Salsipuedes in Baja California Norte, Coco tells the story of a young chihuahua that is abducted by a Mexican cartel. Alonzo, the [...]
Local man farts while talking, remains confident and unfazed
While giving an inspirational speech, successful businessman Ron Gaper reportedly expelled flatus before an audience. “Every day I tried not to think about what would [...]
Man who killed Hugh Hefner gets all the girls now
LOS ANGELES—The man who assassinated Hugh Hefner is reportedly cavorting and fornicating with scores of ebullient, barely legal, scantily-clad women who until recently [...]
Faithful man enraged that wife is cheating on taxes
NASHVILLE, TN—Suspecting that something funny is going on with his wife, an Internal Revenue Service agent purposefully came home early to catch his wife in the act. [...]
David Lynch keeps Twin Peaks fans in suspense
LOS ANGELES—To keep Twin Peaks audiences in suspense, David Lynch incorporated a loading screen in Season 3, Episode 8 of the cult TV series. “I’m bucking the [...]
Meth cook pours acid on invincible cockroach, needs polyurethane container
ALBUQUERQUE—A methamphetamine manufacturer tried to kill a cockroach by means of chemical disincorporation. He failed to do so, and is still looking for a polyurethane [...]
Stupid man who can’t play chess resorts to empty threats
WASHINGTON—Unable to win a chess game against me, a frustrated man is using empty threats and other juvenile methods of intimidation in hopes of overpowering me. Francisco [...]
Impoverished men to sell lush eyebrows for survival
ALBUQUERQUE—After falling victim to a massive Ponzi Scheme, three men are looking to alleviate their financial troubles by selling their lush eyebrows to the wig company [...]
Job applicant turns out to be fat, hairy pervert
COLUMBUS—Recently believed to be a promising applicant with excellent credentials, Lewis C. Kay is actually nothing more than a fat, hairy pervert. “We thought he [...]
