After struggling for four seemingly Sisyphean years at an accredited university, Christina Moran, 26, received her long-awaited B.S. in Copy and Paste. “At first, I was so scared. My typing speed was 24 words per minute and I often forgot… Read More ›
college
Student too cool to admit she gives a shit
Confessing to reporters that she really, definitely gives a flying shit about her professor’s lecture, Ellen Degenerate, 21, insists on pretending not to care anyway. “Girl, that thing about Frege’s sinn und bedeutung was fucking dope,” she allegedly gushed in a secret… Read More ›
Woman gives tips on how to subtly show off book in public
NEW YORK—Eager to take the world by storm, a young graduate of a prestigious liberal arts college carries a difficult book in public every day, painstakingly ensuring that the book cover is somewhat visible to passersby at all times. 21-year-old… Read More ›
Student’s butt destroys university card, causes all of life’s woes
SEATTLE—After having one too many tacos at the library, a slightly overweight student sat on her university ID, unintentionally snapping it in half with the weight of her buttocks. Noting that her university ID also serves as her dormitory card,… Read More ›
Hardworking student proud she got into Harvard shirt
BEIJING—After weeks of hard work, an ambitious student finally got into the school of her dream’s t-shirt. “They didn’t have size M,” said Rachel Fang, 17. “But now I lose weight and wear S. Harvard good fit for me.” Sources confirmed on… Read More ›