THE OCEAN–Saying that he has had enough of “this bullshark,” class clownfish Nemo was sent to detention for swearing at his schoolmates, calling a longtime friend a “punk-ass fish” and telling cephalopods who camouflage themselves to “stop squirting ink and hiding around like a bunch of octopussies.” For his misconduct, Nemo has been sent to the principal’s office.
“He’s violating our social morays. If left unchecked, Nemo will become no better than a damp squid and make me eel,” said Principal Bruce Bringsting.
Sources confirm that Nemo has not yet begun to behave and has allegedly called an innocent bass a “real basshole.”
“I can put up with a little bit of Sargassum, but not with this,” lamented Nemo’s father, Marlin. “I guess he’s just a real son of a fish.”