Pyongyang—Saying he is tired of “the whole nuclear thing and just wants to chill,” Kim Jong-un signed a nuclear disarmament treaty with US president Donald Trump while the two leaders grooved to the Danish-Norwegian dance pop group Aqua’s immortal hit,… Read More ›
After his fire-breathing diatribe against the NFL, President Trump issued a formal apology to the American people. Many who heard the speech identified it as Abraham Lincoln’s 1863 Gettysburg Address, which reaffirms such fundamental principles of American democracy as human… Read More ›
To the FBI. This is the Zodiac speaking. I have stopped killing my beloved Americans and decided to build a wall between Mexico and the U.S. I will change your healthcare. I will sexually assault your women. I will pollute… Read More ›
WASHINGTON—An uptight Trump is begging politicians for political lubrication as the special prosecutor continues to probe him. “It’s a little too rough for me now,” tweeted the President. “There are some bad, bad men who take pleasure in my pain… Read More ›
WASHINGTON—After President Donald Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, the Putin spokesperson claimed that Russia did not meddle with the 2016 presidential erection. “That’s Trump’s problem,” said Dmitry Prekov, Kremlin Press Secretary. “We have nothing to do with it. We’re sure… Read More ›
by Doobie Man, Jr. “He made America great again!” said Billie Nelson, as he paused between tokes on his fashionable, hand rolled marijuana cigarette, complete with “hipster tip” as filter. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for years. But I’ve never witnessed… Read More ›
Two weeks after Trump issued Executive Order 19840, which ordered the burning of books deemed by the White House to be inappropriate for the public, Oxford University Press decided to publish a fireproof version of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. Written… Read More ›
WASHINGTON—President Clown Donald McDonald, who last year promised to make “America fat again,” sent troops to seize food from foreign countries that the United States deems to be a threat to its status as one of the most obese nations… Read More ›
WASHINGTON—A girl found out the hard way not to show images of political ice cream images to her boyfriend while cuddling. During a cuddling session with her boyfriend Darren on Friday, Dakota Madison, 21, slipped out of Darren’s arms to check… Read More ›
The Bald Beagle 